Sunday, May 1, 2011

Bank On It

Bank On It  -  A Comedic Farce

The Players:   

Mr. Middle Class    
Bank A (holds Mr. Middle Class'  personal accounts)  
Bank B (transfers monies from Bank A to Bank C for Mr. Middle Class) 
Bank C (mortgage holder on the home of Mr. Middle Class)


The happy chaos of a middle class family is interrupted by a phone call:

Mr. Middle Class:  Hello

Bank C:  Mr. Middle Class, it appears your mortgage is in arrears.

Mr. Middle Class:  Laughing - that's impossible.

Bank C:  This is not a laughing matter - I have your file in front of me and we have not received  last month's payment on your mortgage.

Mr. Middle Class:  Well you should have received it because I made it, and I and my personal bank, Bank A, have the documents to prove it.

Bank C:  We deal with Bank A all the time and have no record of them transferring your mortgage payment here.

Mr. Middle Class:  Well, because you do not have a branch in the town where I live, I must bring my cheque from Bank A and give it to Bank B to get it to you Bank C - and I do that every month, including last month.

Bank C:  Let's both do a bit of research on this matter and get back to each other this week.  Oh, and sir, if you would do your banking online we would not have this problem.

Mr. Middle Class:  Perhaps - but with the way I make this mortgage payment, I will at least have a stamped, verified, cancelled cheque as evidence that I made the payment.   Okay, I will check with Bank A and Bank B to see what I can find out.


Mr. Middle Class assembles his documents and faxes Bank C a copy of his bank-stamped cancelled cheque and bank statement from Bank A showing a mortgage payment for the previous month was withdrawn from his account.


Bank C:  Mr. Middle class, we must insist on receiving your mortgage payment for last month or we will have to officially classify your account as being in arrears.

Mr. Middle Class:  Do you have my file in front of you?

Bank C:  Yes.

Mr. Middle Class:  Do you see the bank statement and cancelled cheque dated last month that I faxed you?

Bank C:  Yes I do - but we have no record of this amount being applied to your mortgage.

Mr. Middle Class:  Well, wouldn't applying it to my account be your responsibility - why are you harassing me?

Bank C:  I'm sorry sir, but until your account is up to date it is YOUR responsibility.

Mr. Middle Class:  This is ridiculous.  What more can I do?  I have paid you.  The monies have been deducted from my account.  It seems that someone at your end has not recorded receipt of the monies.

Bank C:  Well, you will have to check with Bank A and Bank B to see if they can trace the funds.

Mr. Middle Class:   Would you not have more means to interact with the appropriate departments and have easier access to the records that would help you trace the misplaced payment?

Bank C:  I'm sorry sir - it is YOUR responsibility to make sure your account is up to date.

Mr. Middle Class:  I looked after my responsibility and made the payment as the evidence in my file demonstrates.  I do not understand how you expect me to gather information from within the banking system.  And, by the way, what about your responsibility to properly manage and record the monies you receive?

Bank C:  Do what you can sir and get back to me in 48 hours.


Mr. Middle Class visits Bank A which hold his personal account and has all the facts confirmed but no information or indication of where the monies went.


Bank C:  We must receive a mortgage payment for last month immediately.

Mr. Middle Class:  As you know, I made that payment in full last month.  I have sent you the documents to prove it. 

Bank C:  You may have made the payment, but we have not received it.

Mr. Middle Class:  And wouldn't that be YOUR responsibility?

Bank C:  We are doing what we can to find it, but in the meantime you need to get your account up to date by making a payment for last month.  It will become a blight on your financial records if you allow your mortgage to fall into arrears.

Mr. Middle Class:  Did you really mean to suggest that you want me to make a second mortgage payment for last month?  And, did you really mean to suggest that MY financial records will be forever marred by an error on YOUR part?

Bank C:  It is in your best interests that your account not appear to be in arrears.  Once you bring your account into good standing, you can then continue your inquiries with all the banks involved to see what happened to your first payment.  Oh ... and sir ... you now owe an additional $_____ in interest for late payment.

Mr. Middle Class:  Do you hear yourself?  This is absolutely absurd.

Bank C:  I am only telling you what is in your best interests sir.

Mr. Middle Class:  How can I ever thank you?


Mr. Middle Class makes a second mortgage payment for the previous month (with interest for "late payment") and none of the three banks have any idea nor take any responsibility for the first missing payment.  The mystery of the missing mortgage payment continues.


And you know what the moral of the story is

When dealing with a bank, even when they are in the wrong, they come out in the right.  You can bank on it!

(The bank facade in the image at the top of this post is not related to any of the bank players in the comedic farce.)


  1. Good grief! What a story. Maybe it's time for a lawyer to step in. Or if you have a consumer watchdog kind of guy at a television station . . .

  2. ugh..yeah i left a bank for such jacka$$ery...i even used to work in sucks...and was just talking to a friend today that still works there on how they ween out a particular type customer...ugh

  3. OMG I hope this is not a true story though I assume it is. We can thank the politicians for this.

  4. Sadly I have heard this story many times before, with variations - the common theme being: the bank is always right, even when it is wrong, as you say. I hope this comedic farce will not run and run, as they say in theatrical circles - but I fear it may.

  5. Do you have any redress in law, or is the law the same kind of ass the bank is?

    This sort of thing is enough to drive you insane.

  6. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this post. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well. In fact your creative writing abilities have inspired me to start my own Blog Engine blog now.


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