...back flips through the garden...

Drawing my robe up tightly, I sing to myself;
In my reverie, deepest feelings stir.
There are many joys in living here,
And just to see it through is something gained.

~Tao Ch'ien
5th Century

The joy your comments bring this blogging girl are truly helping me 'to see it through'.  Thank you for all your visits here.  When you don't comment, I understand.  When you are able to grace me with a comment, I do back flips through the garden ... (well, in my mind I am doing back flips - good ones too!) 

two more paintings

 

Check out Monday's post by Butternut Squash

Hi dear blogging friends. 

Did you get to read the post of Butternut Squash today (Monday, June 28th)?  If not, do yourself a favor and check it out here.  

Butternut Squash is a wholesale supplier of jewelry, beads, artifacts and artwork from Nepal.  While she travels through this amazing country, she takes and shares wonderful photographs and does what she can to bring educational materials to the schools and children there. 

Today her post shows some of the eager, joyful faces she encounters on her journeys in Napal, and makes a simple request of us.  I have my thinking cap on to see what I can do to meet her request - I hope you will see what you can do too. 

Butternut Squash's blog: http://goddessoftheconfluence.blogspot.com/

...upset and change...

Has 'God' been tinkering with your life lately?

...the koan that is you...

ko·an:   ~ a nonsensical or paradoxical question to a student for which an answer is demanded, the stress of meditation on the question often being illuminating.

~ a puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining spiritual awakening.

Have you ever thought of yourself and your life as a paradox, a puzzle, a mystery, a koan?


Have you ever wondered if your creative expressions (including blogging!) are an attempt to understand the mystery of the world and the paradox that is you?


Where are you on the journey of understanding the world and your place in it?

Zen masters often juxtapose two unrelated and seemingly contradictory concepts in their presentation of a koan.

What are the mysterious, contradictory elements of your existence that, taking up an uncomfortable residence side by side, could illuminate your path - that could spur an awakening?

Who does not love a mystery? 
Who does not love to solve a puzzle? 
Who does not enjoy an "aha' moment when the penny drops?

The pairing of disparate concepts, as in a Zen koan - held in a contemplative manner, as in meditation (or a quiet walk in Nature) almost always lead to an understanding levels above the original question.

Each of us is a paradox,  a tantalizing mystery, a jumble of contradictions.  There is too much depth to the mystery of any of us to imagine we can come to any complete or final understanding.  But we can shine a light that deepens our understanding of our self and our place in the universe. 

Funny ... we are each an individual mystery, and yet we are also so fundamentally the same... a similar mystery - a related koan.  We are really more alike than we are different.  That is probably why all the different Zen koans ultimately lead to the same place - a place where concepts, masks, illusions fall away and we awaken (by the friction of disparate parts) to what really is and always has been.

Every man's condition is a solution
in hieroglyphic
to those inquiries
which he would make;
he lives it as life
before he perceives it
as truth.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

...some questions for you...and flowers too...

Let's have a little fun and get to know each other better in the process.

Here are some questions
you can answer in the comment section:

1.  What did you have for breakfast this morning?


2.  What do you see out of the window closest to you right now?


3.  What have you been ruminating about or mulling over this week?


4.  What do you need to whine about today? 
 (Everyone needs a little whine now and then.  Let's keep it to 3 sentences' worth in this little forum!)


5.  What is the 'sweetest' thing that happened to you this week?


I will share my answers in the comment section too.  Looking forward to reading some diverse answers from across the world.  Have a great weekend all!

...temples...

If, for some reason, you have not found the temple within...yet,

you can always turn to Nature

which ever offers

a myriad

of sacred 'temples'

where you can

sit in awe

and kneel in gratitude.

...I'm bad...

(free photo from Pioneer Woman)

Sometimes it seems

that tragedy and disaster

strike mainly the good...

that the good

must always

butt their heads

up against some difficult

and unforeseen challenge.

Therefore,

out of self-protection

I have decided

it might be a good thing

to be bad.

To be very bad...

at lying

and not trying

at being lazy

and seeming crazy

at ignoring

and snoring

at polluting

and intruding

at being greedy

and seeming needy

at exploiting

and annoying

at being rude

and drilling crude

at stealing

and dirty-dealing

at hoarding

and water-boarding

at hiding

and colliding

at not learning

and not earning.

Yes, I think I can be good at being bad.

This is just

a small list

of ways I now commit

to being bad.

So world

be on notice:

I'm BAD

Don't even think

about messing with me.

(free photograph from Pioneer Woman)

How about you?

Are you bad too?

P.S.  After reading a few of the comments I see that I have not been very clear with my little tongue-in-cheek ditty.  I do not want to do/be any of those things ... if you read carefully you will see I want to be bad at those things - bad at lying, bad at being lazy, bad at hoarding, etc. ... and not in the current zeitgeist meaning of 'bad', either.

"...my soul is a dark forest..."

"That I am I.

That my soul is a dark forest.

That my known self will never be
more than a little clearing in the forest.

That gods, strange gods, come forth
from the forest into the clearing of
my known self and then go back.

That I must have the courage
to let them come and go.

That I will never let mankind put
anything over on me,
but that I will try always
to recognize and honor
the gods in me
and the gods in
other men and women."

~D.H. Lawrence




 

acrylic paintings from the studio

Some recent work from the 'Original Art Studio'.  The first 3 acrylic paintings are 8 x 10 inches.  The last one is 11 x 14 inches.  All were painted with a palette knife - no brushes.  Seems I had a need to paint some abstract figures!  With many other pieces and projects in the works, I have not taken the time to title these.  Here they are, nameless, for your perusal:

My DH prefers this one in a horizontal position ... Just sayin ...

He sees the figure floating in water beneath a city skyline ... ?

What do you see ... in any of them?

...summer...

A poem about summer by Mary Oliver on this summer solstice.

Little Summer Poem Touching The Subject Of Faith

Every summer

I listen and look

under the sun's brass and even

into the moonlight, but I can't hear

anything, I can't see anything --

not the pale roots digging down, nor the green

stalks muscling up,

nor the leaves

deepening their damp pleats,

nor the tassels making,

nor the shucks, nor the cobs.

And still,

every day,

the leafy fields

grow taller and thicker --

green gowns lofting up in the night,

showered with silk.

And so, every summer,

I fail as a witness, seeing nothing --

I am deaf too

to the tick of the leaves,

the tapping of downwardness from the banyan feet --

all of it

happening

beyond any seeable proof, or hearable hum.

And, therefore, let the immeasurable come.

Let the unknowable touch the buckle of my spine.

Let the wind turn in the trees,

and the mystery hidden in the dirt

swing through the air.

How could I look at anything in this world

and tremble, and grip my hands over my heart?

What should I fear?

One morning

in the leafy green ocean

the honeycomb of the corn's beautiful body

is sure to be there.

~Mary Oliver

...happy father's day to me...

(This is not an autumn shot - the leaves and mountain are gold due to golden rays of the setting sun on Father's Day.)

Sometimes things are not done right the first time.  A lapse, a mistake, a betrayal, an abandonment, a folie - and something essential to healthy human development can be lost, overlooked, left undone.  The wonderful news is that there are usually second chances.  A second chance to do what was not done right the first time.  Sometimes there are third, fourth and fifth chances too.

Yesterday, I had the joy of watching my children come to show their love and appreciation to their father for his years of devotion to their well-being.  To see them attend to him, embrace him and offer little concrete tokens of deep appreciation was beyond heart-warming.  Even his granddaughters insisted on getting in on the tributes, cuddles and reminiscences.

I have watched this man give the attention and love to his children - fatherly attention that I never received as a child.  Being an up-close observer, in this way, of  true fatherly love was a healing experience for me.  I am sure, that over the years, some of my father-starved cells underwent deep, fundamental repair by just being privy to, by being in close proximity to, good, healthy fathering.  Life did not give me a good family-of-origin father, but life has afforded me so many loving opportunities to experience up close and personal what good fathering can be.  Pure balm to my wounds.  Balm that closed the wounds.

I do not look for any sympathy here.  It is not needed.  The wounds have long since healed - thanks in large measure to a vicarious experience of fatherhood - watching my dear man father our children as children deserve to be fathered.  He has thus offered me a reparative experience.  I must tell him, although I think he knows.

May I add that it was especially touching and healing to read many of your loving tributes to your fine fathers.  Sharing some of your memorable experiences with your Dads, offers those of us who did not have those sweet intimacies and sharings a moment of vicariously experiencing fatherly attunement to a child's needs.  Thank you for your posts.  They did not make me sad or envious - rather deeply grateful for all the fine father energy available for any of us to tap into - for fifth, sixth and seventh chances, etc. - if we are alert to notice and absorb them.

You don't have to be a father to have a happy Father's Day!

...for my blogging pals who are Dads...

Happy Father's Day!

archetyped inner courtroom

the courtroom of eden

a stroke, a flourish

a gentle exhalation

formed the clay

into a vessel of perfection

(or so it is said)

hierarchy quickly established

orientation and rules

ensure the new creation

eternity in a garden paradise

(who would not want that)

impertinent questions

impromptu quirks of curiosity

temptation to further explore

perfection not enough

a child always asks for more

(or so I have heard)

eden thus shifts to a courtroom

curiosity and disobedience the crime

wanting to know decreed a transgression

of the prosecutable kind

genesis of inner jurisprudence

with a harsh embedded judge

templates in conditionned minds

an archetypal courtroom that won't budge

laws quickly disseminated

proof strewn about the grounds

no defense, bargaining, appeal or plea

can withstand the unrelenting examination

jurisdiction irrelevant

now templated in every dogma-ed mind

the internal court issues daily verdicts

damages, punishments and fines

guilt becomes the everlasting given

forever demanding punishment

be forthwith self-inflicted...

if not duly heaven sent

"damn myself daily

mete out the verdict due

sweet, sacred self-flagellation

to be at-one-ment with You"

perfection, the penultimate goal

never quite attained

leaves creation anxiety-riddled

forever quaking and ashamed

(or so therapists say)

eternal quests for the unattainable

sustain the inner courtroom scene

archetyped in every mind

sentenced thus to guilt and shame

no true believer left behind

(or so I have noticed)

~bz

...edges...

Perhaps Rumi can claim 'no edges' to his loving now. 
I can only claim fewer edges. 
The edges that remain are rounded and softened with experience and age...
or so I tell myself.
 
Truth be told I often like edges in other people. 
They produce friction and keep you awake... 
on your toes. 
Some edges force you to move ... to jump to the other side.
It's sometimes good to experience the other side.

Learning and loving always have an edge to them...
or so I have found.
 
Actually, I like to tell myself that some of my edges tickle my DH's fancy ...
but maybe that is another story with which I delude myself.
 
Do you have edges? 
How do you feel about other people's edges?
Do you leap off edges in a single bound?
Can you tell me something about your experience with edges?

I just remembered that I included the word 'edges' as one of the words in the sub-title to the header of my blog!  I think I like the excitement of teetering on the edge ... of knowing it can be a threshold to something new...

Sorry Rumi, we will have to agree to disagree on this point of edges.


(The above collage was made with photographs taken with my Canon PowerShot camera.)

first real editing in photoshop elements

As well as trying to learn all about and get some experience using my new SLR, I purchased Photoshop Elements 8, a simplified version of Photoshop.  I have had it available to me for a couple of months and have a thick book entitled "The Manual That Should Have Come With Photoshop Elements 8'.  With time always seeming to be a factor, I usually turn to my old friend, Picasa, for any editing I wanted to do.....until now.

I am now taking a course entitled 'Digital Magic' with Marie Otera from Lost Aussie on the Loose  on how to make 'magic' with your photographs.  Of course you must use Photoshop or Photoshop Elements 8 to follow her internet course. 

So I am in the throws of immersion into layers, masks, blending, brushes, etc. etc.  Marie is an excellent teacher and I watch each tutorial a couple of times before I try the techniques on my own.  Using this picture of mine below - I applied several actions, as per her instructions, to produce a more vintage look with the photograph. 

It is my first attempt at using some of the amazing tools offered in Photoshop.  It is far from perfect and I wince thinking of you amazing photo editors out there seeing this.  A rather clumsy first attempt and yet I am proud of this little piece of work.  See what you think:

before...

 

after...

...unfolding...

I want to unfold.
I do not want to remain
folded up anywhere,
because wherever I am still folded,
I am untrue.

~Rainer Maria Rilke


It is an all too frequent discovery - another place where I find myself 'folded up' - protecting myself - afraid of exposure - untrue. 

Self-acceptance is an on-going process, rarely, if ever, achieved once and for all. 

It's an inside job and the work is daily. 

There is little that is more healing than acceptance of self. 

When all else has failed,  why not try loving and accepting yourself? 

What I am, and you are, is what is - the truth. 

Why not unfold the truth of who we are, embrace it and accept it?

What are we waiting for?

Pumpkins: Not Just For Pie Anymore!

I know it is not pumpkin season, however the amazing benefits of pumpkin can be found in canned pumpkin puree that you can purchase at any time of year.  Give the little article below a read and find out how you can incorporate this 'superfood' into your diet now.


Yahoo! Canada Lifestyle

Posted Fri, Apr 23, 2010

Pumpkins: not just for pie anymore!

"Pumpkins aren't just for carving thanks to their new-found superfood status (see below). Plus they're amazingly versatile: Pureed, mashed, or cubed, pumpkins' mildly sweet taste can go even sweeter or savory, depending on how you spice it.

At restaurants, look for pumpkin soups, bread, muffins, pumpkin-flavored pasta dishes (think gnocchi or ravioli), and decadent desserts, from cheesecake to gelato.


At home, keep a few cans of pumpkin puree on hand and stir a big spoonful into almost anything: soups, stews, yogurt, curries, pancakes, even meatball mixtures.


In fact, there may be nothing you can't pump up with pumpkin -- including coffee: Starbucks' pumpkin spice latte boosted the chain's sales 11% when it debuted! Need an extra prod to try pumpkin in something besides pie? Here are a half-dozen reasons to go for the gourd.

1. It could cut your cancer risk. A diet high in carotenoids can lower the risk of breast cancer, and beta-cryptoxanthin, a carotenoid that's particularly plentiful in pumpkin, may help protect against lung cancer. Aim to get your beta-carotene from foods like pumpkin, since supplements don't offer the same cancer protection.

2. It fills you up for very few calories. A ½ cup of Libby's canned 100% pumpkin puree packs in 5g of stomach-satisfying fiber (20% of your daily intake) for only 40 calories. By comparison, a slice of whole-wheat bread has 2g of fiber and costs you 70 calories.

3. It's got the goods to protect your vision. Pumpkin delivers a duo of sight-saving carotenoid antioxidants (lutein and beta-cryptoxanthin) that reduce the risk of age-related cataracts and sight-stealing macular degeneration.

4. It keeps your body humming. Pumpkin is a great source of potassium, which keeps your cells, nerves, and muscles running smoothly. Healthy potassium levels also help keep blood pressure in check and can lower the odds of stroke and heart disease.

5. It gives your immune system a . . . boost. A ½ cup serving of pumpkin delivers a war chest of immune-boosting vitamins and nutrients, including alpha and beta-carotene, vitamin C, iron, and enough vitamin A to last you three days!


6. It gives your bones a little extra love. You'll also pick up a little extra bone-building calcium with each serving. Plus beta-cryptoxanthin defends against joint-destroying rheumatoid arthritis.


P.S. Wondering about canned versus fresh pumpkin? Canned is a little less sweet but, surprisingly, it's a little more nutritious. It has more fiber, beta-carotene, potassium, iron, and folate than fresh. It also wins huge points for convenience! And all that filling fiber pays off in more ways than appetite control: Eating a high-fiber diet can make your RealAge up to 3.5 years younger.

...rise again...

So many things
to let go and let die
in a little life.


So many dreams and illusions
to let expire, to bury
in order to move on...


Perhaps the only way to survive
is by the embedded belief
in a resurrection of hope.


Then again, what a relief
to let die the lies, the injuries and agonies,
the stranglehold of regret.


Let them all die
dance at their funeral, rejoicing that you are free
to rise again...and again.


~bz

...a bouquet of peonies just for you...

Peonies


This morning the green fists of the peonies are getting ready
to break my heart
as the sun rises,
as the sun strokes them with his old, buttery fingers
and they open -
pools of lace,
white and pink -
and all day the black ants climb over them,
boring their deep and mysterious holes
into the curls,
craving the sweet sap,
taking it away
to their dark, underground cities -
and all day
under the shifty wind,
as in a dance to the great wedding,
the flowers bend their bright bodies,
and tip their fragrance to the air,
and rise,
their red stems holding
all that dampness and recklessness
gladly and lightly,
and there it is again -
beauty the brave, the exemplary,
blazing open.
Do you love this world?
Do you cherish your humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath?
Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden,
and softly,
and exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with the white and pink flowers,
with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling,
their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are
nothing, forever?


~Mary Oliver

finding the zen in the zone

Any room in your life to just sit today? 

I have devoted this day to painting.
 
When it flows in the studio
and I enter the zone,
it can be quite zen.
:-)

As you may have noticed
the state of flow
has not yet been accessed...
because when I'm here,
I'm resisting the call of the canvas.

Ah, yes...
resistance - my nemesis.

Excuse me
while I return
mindfully
to my liquid devotions of the day.
(liquid paint!)

(I know what you were thinking!)
:-)