Thursday, February 11, 2010

Components of Love



Are these four qualities evident in the love you give? 

All love is demonstrated by simple acts of attention.  When we are attended to (or receive attention - such as eye contact), we develop self-respect. 

We all need to feel accepted by the ones we love.  Their acceptance tells us we are decent, good, worthy, 'acceptable'.  Acceptance tells us we can reveal and pursue our needs, desires and values and not jeopardize the relationship. 

Appreciation is a truly healing component of love.  We settle into our own worth and dignity when offered appreciation. 

Affection usually includes some form of touch.  To be touched (emotionally or physically) conveys the message that we are desired and lovable.  Affection is essential for human development and a sense of well-being and ease. 

It is wonderful to receive attention, acceptance, appreciation and affection and the sense of well-being they bring.  Do you receive them from those who say they love you?  Do you also freely give them - to your loved ones - especially your children?




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15 comments:

  1. Not to be too silly about it, but it's nice, for once, that I have already learned the lesson! I'm lucky, lucky, lucky to get all 4 As from the most important people in my life, and I think they'd agree that they get them all back.

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  2. HI BONNIE-

    Oh yes, I am loved like you describe and even in more ways that four and I love other with at least those four components. If I were to add to that list I would add honor. Great post Bonnie.

    Love Gail
    peace......

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  3. This is a great concrete way of conceptualizing love! I hope I have come more proficient over time in showing love, it is my intention to show my family and friends. On a bad day perhaps I would say I don't feel it, but mostly I'd truly say I do! I often think too, loving ourselves in this way helps us love others this way...

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  4. I did not feel I got those things from my own mother, but as a mother, I made sure my children never lacked.

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  5. nice...love these...have a post going up tonight on the attention to love...

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  6. Gail: Yes, these 4 would just be a basic foundation on which to build a multi-dimensional love.

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  7. Vicky: Great point - do we attend to, accept, appreciate and express compassion or affection to our selves? Thanks Vicky.

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  8. Ellen: Yes, we have more than once chance at love and family ... if it was not done 'right' in our family of origin, we can make sure it is done properly in the family we create. Also, as Vicky said, do we give ourselves what was denied us in our family of origin?

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  9. Great reminder, Bonnie. We all need to remember to give as well as receive. I've been working on that lately.

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  10. hey bonnie - i think that the first layer up from love is care. details of care are affection, acceptance, admiration, attention (and those are just the "a" words. lovely post. steven

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  11. Great reminder, Bonnie. Happy Valentine's Day! Hope yours is sweet and full of love. xoxo

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  12. How apropos to get this little reminder just when we're thinking "love" for Valentine's Day. Now, if only I had someone to appreciate, admire, attend to and show affection with -- but alas!

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  13. Wow. Odd. I was contemplating a post about this something, poems, probably, making the connection between love and attention. They ARE very nearly the same thing. Here I find this post by you. Synchronicity!

    And in my kindergarten I've been teaching Charlotte Diamond's song, "Four Hugs A Day--That's the Minimum" and we're sending it home to parents as a Valentine's card along with a card that says, "I Need More Hugs!" (Yes, touch is important!!!)

    Great post, Bonnie.

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