Monday, December 7, 2009


Friendship is the comfort,
the inexpressible comfort
of feeling safe with a person
having neither to weigh thoughts
 or measure words,
but pouring all right out
just as they are,
chaff and grain together,
certain that a faithful friendly hand
 will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping and,
with a breath of comfort,
blow the rest away.

~Dinah Maria Mulock Craik~

  Isn't it wonderful to have a friend with whom, as Craik says, you do not have to always weigh your words?  You know they understand your intent.  They do not continually ask you to justify yourself.  They do not engage in blame games.  They do not take everything personally. And they can blow off  most of your mistakes and offenses.  Such a friend offers a place where one can relax, rest and be oneself.  How wonderful a friendship where acceptance, compassion and understanding reign!  That is what most of us crave.  Is it what we give?


  1. A friendship like the one you mention is a treasure. I had a friend like that once, but my friend passed away. It is difficult when you are older, retired, and a bit isolated to make new friends of that level. I miss it.

  2. I try. Being so imperfect myself, I try not to judge others. I'm the one though who tends toward bluntness or thoughtlessness but never with mal intent. Therefore I cherish my friends.

  3. Vagabonde: It is a treasure, as you say. I'm sorry you lost such a treasure in your life.

  4. Ellen: I have the same problem. That is why this poem appealed to me. I am so grateful to friends who can sift through candid comments and find the gift in them, and know no offense was ever intended. I have worked hard over the years at not taking every thought or comment personally and do try to understand and not be overly sensitive.

  5. Friends like that are hard to find. If you have one, hold on tightly and never ever let go.

    I miss mine.

  6. Beautiful hon! To find a friend that will take the chaff with the wheat and roll with the punches is so very rare..but so deeply appreciated when found!! Wonderful post my friend..and yes I think you are..I always feel like I can tell you what I think..even if it isn't what you think and that is ok..besides the fact that honestly..I just like ya!!
    Hugs to you hon, Sarah

  7. Sooo very true! I wish we could have more of these types of friendships, 100% accepting, no matter what.

    So often, I feel like I have to be who that person expects. Obviously, those aren't my true, best friendships.

  8. Absolutely Bonnie, this is the only way.

    I have read that quote quite often recently and I especially love the part of knowing what is and isn't important.

    Love you Bonnie.


    I was so honored to have you as a follower and I am following you too. we have been "following" each other around for a while now, traveling in the same circles :-)

    I really enjoyed this piece on friendship - it is all so true.

    I look forward to sharing with you more, over time.

    Love Gail

  10. I had a friend say to me recently that she could tell me of her deepest self because she knew I wouldn't judge her. It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me, and more so because I have always had to be careful with my quick tendencies to judge and criticize. I have always felt that others judged me because, of course, that's what I did/do. As I get older, I have the feeling that I am more least I hope so. This was a timely reminder for me, Bonnie.

  11. Such kind of friendship is so precious and takes so many years to built. I am glad that I have couple of them..

  12. I have wonderful friends - all far away but thanks to the internet we can chat regularly and share pictures - though its not the same as real time. I miss them but know when we do meet up we will just pick up the threads. so so lucky, thanks for your blog x

  13. hello bonnie - i have a friend like this. we see each other probably no more than once every six or eight weeks but it's like a warm breeze. there's no effort involved in being. it's just there. simple magic. thanks for this lovely thoughtful post bonnie. steven

  14. Bonnie...I have come to believe that this is exactly the kind of friendship you give! I so appreciate your blog!

  15. a stirring the description in the i always, not as much as i should...i long to be and have those kinds of friends...

  16. Bonnie, I think my original comment went astray! I said something like Ellen did - being someone who tends towards being judgmental, I have to watch myself although that seems to be less of a problem as I get older!
    It's a lot less work and stress being accepting, I find. Makes me wonder why it took so long to learn this lesson.....


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