Ultimately, the health and hope of any intimate relationship
to assume responsibility . . .
It takes great courage to ask this fundamental question:
"What am I asking of this Other
that I ought to be doing for myself?"
I drink at your well
I bring an undefended heart to our meeting place
I have no cherished outcome
I will not negotiate by withholding
I am not subject to disappointment
I think one of the problems in marriage
is that people don't realize
what it is.
They think it's a long love affair
and it isn't.
Marriage has nothing to do
with being happy.
It has to do with
and when the transformation
a magnificent experience.
But you have to submit.
You have to yield.
You have to give.
You can't just dictate.
I hold this to be the highest task
of a bond between two people:
that each should stand guard
over the solitude of the other
~Rainer Maria Rilke~
Barry from "An Explorer's View of Life" just honoured us with the following quotation from St. Augustine in my comment section. It is exquisite and sums up my post, and all of the comments received, so beautifully that I had to pull it out of the comments and post it here. Did not want anyone to miss it. Thank you Barry!
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."