Tuesday, July 7, 2009

you must . . .

If you have read my two previous posts about being the mother of an adult child diagnosed with cancer, you will understand the relevance of the above quotation from Eleanor Roosevelt. I felt totally unprepared for such a turn of events, and was unsure I could be strong enough throughout. I think it was my ego self that did not feel strong enough. I knew there was a centered, resilient, able part of myself I could call on to do what was required. I just temporarily felt I had lost access to it. That's what fear and the scary stories you tell yourself do - they obsure vision of, and access to, what you know and who you really are. It was Kipling, I believe, who said that of all the liars in the world, our fears are the worst. My next post about my journey through this with my daughter will describe how I examined, exposed and learned how to move through the fear. In the meantime, dear Eleanor's quote above helped me put one foot in front of the other to do what had to be done.

7 comments:

  1. I am deeply moved by your struggle and your daughter's courage and grace. Isn't it awful that we can't wave a wand and make the pain go away for those we love?

    I get such pleasure, though, when I can make someone smile even for the briefest of moments. I think your humor and your simply being there made all the difference in your daughter's healing. Thank you for sharing something that was so difficult. I feel deeply touched and privileged for learning of it.

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  2. Thank you so much for sharing this journey. I cannot imagine how I would handle a serious illness with one of my daughters. It truly is my worst nightmare, for all the reasons you so eloquently stated. Looking forward to the next post. But the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt is one I have had to live by, and it is oh so true.

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  3. The Eleanor Roosevelt quote is wonderful, and so appropriate. Thank you for sharing it. I look forward to reading more of your journey with your daughter.

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  4. Under the Rainbow:
    Oh yes, I have so often wished for a magic wand. Thanks for stopping by, I so appreciate your input.


    Nancy:
    Hope you read my next post, because we found a way to NOT experience it all as a nightmare. Yes, I certainly did at first and I wanted to highlight that way of processing it in my first posts, so that you could see how far I/we have come in our experience of dealing with cancer. I appreciate your visits and comments.

    Audrey:
    I'm so glad you dropped in to comment. I visited your blog and left a long and "profound" ;) comment, but alas, it again said error on page and would not allow me to publish. I see you have other comments - so it is not your blog. I have this problem on 3 or 4 blogs I visit. Don't know how to solve it. Anyway thank you for your comment and thank you for your post on your blog today about synchronicity and commenting. I so agree. We come to blog for one reason - and find people and stories that move us and our blogging project evolves into a whole other thing. Keep up your good work - and please keep commenting here so I can comment on your blog! Phew - sorry I am so long-winded.

    Bonnie

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  5. Bonnie I had not heard of that book but it sounds wonderful.

    My daughter has lupus and it is such a horrible disease.

    I know when I think of somethings my daughter is going through or if I think of my own cancer situation, I do the simple thing my Dad told me and it works.

    When the 'what-ifs come knocking, tell them to fuck-off.'

    Love Renee xoxoxo

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  6. What becomes so clear to me through your posts and your discoveries as you work through this journey with your daughter is your own strength. It is no surprise then that your daughter has the strength she does. She has had an excellent, loving role model. You are quite a team.

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  7. Renee:

    How great is that? Now why didn't I just call your father? It would have been much simpler. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter - lupus is a mysterious condition. You've been through a lot - I appreciate your input.


    Sherry Lee:

    Aaah - what a lovely thing to say. Your right, we do make a good team - and she actually has many members on her team. I so appreciate your interest and encouragement.

    Bonnie

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